I can’t handle life right now. My heart hurts so much. I miss you. I hadn’t even talked to you in almost a year. But I know you’re gone & the world feels emptier now. I can’t deal with it. Any time I think about it too much I feel like I’m going to have an anxiety attack. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this that would understand. Donny just thinks I’m being selfish. But I’m not trying to be. I just need someone to support me & help me right now because I just can not handle this. I’ve gotten through every other loss in my life. I found a way to accept it. But I can accept this. I can’t deal with Shane being gone. My heart is so broken & I don’t know how to get through this. I just need someone
Tomorrow is Shane’s calling hours & I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone. It just hurts my heart so much. These last few days have been so difficult. Having to go to work & deal with the bull people throw at me & then coming home & having 5 million things to take care of has left me no time to just sit & cry & grieve. That’s what I need to do. It’s like not stopping hasn’t allowed me to process this. I miss him so much
Today has been a bad day. I lost a friend today. My heart is so heavy & broken. My head has been spinning since I found out. It doesn’t seem real. Like I should just wake up tomorrow & this be a nightmare. But it’s not. People keep trying to cheer me up, but every time I smile or laugh it reminds me that Shane is never going to smile or laugh again. I feel so guilty that I got so tied up in my new life that I didn’t make time for him. Now I’ll never have that chance again. He’ll never cheer me up or tell me how pretty I am when he sees me. I’ll only ever see that smile in old pictures & my memory now. It’s just all so wrong & painful. & this pain will never go away. The pain you feel when you lose a loved one never goes away. It doesn’t fade. After time you may get used to it, but it’s always there. Getting through today was so hard. I don’t know if I can do it again tomorrow. I just want to curl up & cry my heart out. I love you & miss you Shane. I will always remember you. RIP Shane
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So my name is Joey White and I’m a very pasty pale British white guy at uni overseas. So I was introducing myself and this guy from Nigeria goes “Hi, I’m Joseph” so I said, “I’m a Joseph too! Joseph White.” Then he looked me in the eye and said in a dead serious tone “I’m Joseph Brown” and we nearly died.
oh dear god
Inside the Shah Cheragh Mosque in Shiraz, Iran